We looked on the web, and this important looking website said we should address the following issues in a privacy statement, so here goes...
1) Explain what types of information you collect and how you use it
This website doesn't collect any information about you except your IP address, which we log for traffic tracking purposes. Otherwise this website is purely for your edification, not ours.
2) Explain why your server and online operations are secure
We don't have any of your information, so we can skip this paragraph. Besides, it's getting late.
3) Let customers out
Well obviously, eventually we let them out. Nobody likes bars and besides, they get hungry.
4) Let customers view and edit their personal information
It really is getting late, and we've run out of caffeine.
5) Inform customers about policy changes
We just poke you through the bars :-)
6) Tell your customers who to contact in case they have questions about privacy
The sales department always wants to hear your privacy questions, please email them (often).
Only if they still have a funny bone.